Setting a Parenting Example: It's All About Love

 

I am going to write this post out of frustration of something I have witnessed over the last few months.  Maybe I’m out of line but I don’t care.  My blog does not get read, to my knowledge,  by anyone who would know this situation, but I’m going to keep it fairly vague just in case. 

Today was my son’s last day of preschool.  We have loved this preschool for Ian.  It has been so good for him.  Over the course of the year we have become familiar with a child in the class who sticks out quite a bit.  This child is more aggressive and loud than the other children.  But honestly, the behavior is nothing super different than some children I have witnessed, in fact, personally I don't think it's a big deal at all.  The child just is more vocal and seems to get in trouble all the time. Rich and I have realized that this child’s home life may be a little battered.  There is what appears to be a very young mom, a very young dad and they are not married or even together.  Sometimes this child gets dropped off with heavy metal music blarring from the mother’s car.  But in the midst of all of this there is a very loyal grandparent, who picks up and sometimes drops off this child.  Very sweet, very involved but very much in the middle of what appears to be parenting issues, lack of follow through on the parents and the grandparent is stepping in to be sure this child has some structure.  This is all my observation because I don’t know any of the actual situation.

Over the last month from field trips to other interactions I have observed I have noticed this child can’t do anything right in the classroom.  This child is segregated at times because of behavior.  And the other parents have noticed, and I think contribute to the teachers needing to discipline him based on some comments.  The other parents don’t like this child.  It is obvious.  I have told Ian to be nice and kind to this child and that this child is his friend.  And overall Ian has been good to this child.  The teachers at times want to say stuff about the child, but they try to bite their tongues (as they should.)  But somehow, some of the parents seems to have “pegged” this child as trouble.  And let me remind you the child is only 5 years old. 

A couple weeks ago, I posted about the bike race Ian participated in at school.  The kids raced two at a time at the beginning.  Most of the parents were there all cheering for all the children…except this child.  This child’s grandparent was on the sideline quietly cheering on the child.  When it was this child’s turn to race, all the other parents cheered for the other kid.  Except the grandparent quietly on the sideline…and me.  I put my hands together and yelled, “go ********!!!”  No one else did.    No matter how aggressive or mean or loud or silly a kid is…THEY ARE A CHILD.   Does the "loving the unlovely as Jesus did" mean anything to people?  I think we tend to forget this concept when we are annoyed with the “unlovable.” 

I really didn’t think I could ever be shocked by people, but today I was and it has disturbed to me to core.  I am as sarcastic as anyone.  Everyone who knows me knows I have no problem with putting people in their place (typically gently but firmly) if I need too and I can make fun of the best.  But when I saw this happen today, I truly was disgusted and wondered where people’s compassion truly lies. 

The young mom of the child I have been referring to was in the room with the child.  As I walked into the classroom, she was giving her child a big hug and kiss goodbye.  It was actually sweet, as I’ve never really seen her show the child any love.  The teachers were talking with another parent and everyone was excited about the last day.  As the mom started to walk out of the classroom and turned to say goodbye to the teachers, she said, “see you soon for the summer classes!”  The teachers smiled and said nothing.  The other parent after this mom left gave a sarcastic thumbs up to the teachers as if to say, “oh goodie, those people and that child will still be around this summer.”   The child was still in the room when this occurred. The child is not stupid and could have seen this gesture.  The teachers laughed but tried to bite their tongues and I personally wanted to get up and smack this other parent.  Partially, because this parent is not a rock star of a parent (I could make a list of reasons why they are not but I won’t)…and partially because I know they are a “Christian” and go to church and it made me sick that a “Christian” would act that way.  Yes they are young and the family might be more difficult to work with …but this is an innocent child.  And there are such obvious dysfunctions this child lives with…can we not just be kind? 

I am glad that this preschool year is over.  Dalton will start next year with a different class.  I love the teachers and know the teachers have to deal with lots of different types of family situations, parent personalities and kids.  But the parents in this class are very cliquey and I did not join in their group.  So I’m happy that part is over.   I have been thinking all day about my own behavior and how I act, and do my actions reflect what I believe?

One thing I’ve learned from living different places and joining different communities of people is that everywhere you go you meet seemingly intelligent people who feel that because they are in the “in” crowd, high up in the community, church, work etc. they can get away with judging others.  But when it comes to children, that’s where it crosses the line for me. We hear non-stop about bullying in schools.  Where do these perfect parents think that bullies come from?  If you don’t want bullies in the schools, don’t start by segregating and ignoring children at the age of 5 years old or using negative reinforcement to these children, who obviously need praise and love.  Your praise as a parent to a child who is NOT your child, may be something that child remembers forever.  And honestly, if this child grows up to become a bully that beats up the other parent’s kids at school…well serves them right.  In my opinion, bullying behavior is learned not just from at home, but from within the community and how they were treated by others.   My recommendation is not to “peg” children as good or bad.  Love them all.  Teach your child to be friends with everyone...but especially the "unlovable".  Invite them to the birthday party too.  Your little gestures may go a long way. 

For me, I have a heart for this child and will keep praying for this family.  I hope and pray that they will be shown love as they head off to kindergarten and beyond, if not from within the family, from within a community of other parents who can recognize an opportunity to praise and show kindness to a child. 

I will now step off my soap box. 

The Bachelorette: Episode Three

 

So we’re back!  Yes I’m late again.  My life is a little chaotic right now to say the least.    But that’s another post for another day. 

This was an awesome episode of the Bachelorette.  Where to even begin!!!  So we start the episode with Emily in bed looking gorgeous after waking up in full make-up.  Her mother is at her beckon call with breakfast served to her bed while her daughter dances outside her room.  All is well at the house of Emily. 

Date card arrives and a very happy Chris gets a date with Emily can’t stop talking about kissing her.   

Emily and Chris – Climbing A Wall to Get to Dinner

Emily  is intimidated by Chris and his good looks.  He really isn’t THAT good looking is he?  Is he?  To me he reminds me of one of those mug shots you see of a stalker who is super shy and obsessive and you’re like, “oh he’s kind of cute but he’s a stalker."  Anywho…I digress.   Emily takes Chris to a building and of course they have to scale it to get to the top in order to have dinner.  I remember the first time I had to scale a wall to get to my dinner date…. 

Emily is scared climbing the wall and Chris is calm (well he looked like he wanted to be scared but wasn’t allowed to say he was for fear of being looking upon as a wuss).  It’s lightening and thundering.   The perfect night for wall scaling.   A crowd has gathered to watch.  They make it to the top.  Chris has planned the entire way up that he will kiss her at the top.  High fives instead of a kiss.  He was quite bummed and couldn’t stop talking a kiss. 

At dinner, they have okay conversation…until Emily realizes Chris is 25.  “Red Flag” says Emily.  Kind of made me laugh.  She’s only 26.  But I guess a 25 year old is kind of young for a woman with a 6 year old child and is used to dating sugar daddies.  But Emily fell for Chris’s words.  Chris is mature and Emily can see that in him.  So he gets the rose.  

And Luke Bryan played a concert for them!  I love Luke Bryan.  But I only like his song "Country Girl Shake It For Me, but it wasn’t my date…so there was no shaking it for him…there was a little dancing.  And obsessed with kissing her as they dance Chris asks,  “Can I give you a kiss at the end of this song?”  It was all kind of awkward…there was a street crowd watching them.  

GROUP DATE! with Tony, Jef,  Wolf, Obessive Father Doug, Metrosexual Ryan, Stevie, Sean, Alejandro,  Alessjandro, Travis, Michael ---- Let’s Play!  Yay! 

The guys on this date got to get grilled by Emily’s friends.  Yay!  I love this.  And I loved that her friends looked normal and were not Supermodels.  Don’t you hate when people have Supermodels as friends?  Anyways, her friend Wendy, the blonde mom with the side ponytail.  She is super funny!  I loved her.  Her wit, her honesty, her sarcasm….it was like looking in a mirror.  When the guys found out this was going to happened, I was unimpressed with their lack of confidence.  They all felt like this there was no way they could do well with her friends.  Probably they knew they were all moms and too smart for their crap.  Moms are smart like that.  We don’t fall for flattery and flirting…we know better.  We wear our mom jeans and know we are not cool…but can look at someone and tell if they are full of it.

So here's how it went down:  

Tony:  "I have a son…I have a son…she is a mom…we’re MFEO! (made for each other)"

Jef-  "I dated a girl with a kid"

Doug- "I’m a dad and I am good looking and no one else gets this but me. "

Ryan – He was just checking the moms out.  And did push-ups for them.  Typical.

Charlie – He wasn’t sure where he was.

Travis – Showed up to talk to them with his egg.  And Wendy said, "Did you fertilize the egg yourself?"

Wolf – "My girlfriend said I should come on the show."  What?  He did quite poorly with the friends.

Stevie – Danced for them. 

Sean – They thought he was cute.  And they were right.  He admits he knows nothing about kids and the moms didn’t care.  They thought he was hot, sweet and would look good in a cape. The one friend Wendy was hilarious.   He took his shirt off for her and did push up while she sat on him.  HILARIOUS!   

After the grilling…out came a bunch of kids to play with.  And the guys decided “game on!”  Let’s grab a kid and start showing off!  Jef and Sean stood out to Emily.  Ryan  just wanted to steal time with Emily and her friends.  He went over to them chatting and they all commented on how good looking he was.  But Wendy said, "After marriage he could blow up like a tick."   Ryan said in front of the friends if Emily got lazy and got fat he would love her but wouldn’t love on her.  Wow!  That’s every woman’s worst fear.  Lol.  Ryan is an idiot.  I.D.I.O.T.  Why would you even say that to some gorgeous hot girl who obviously this isn’t an issue for.  You don’t know her well enough and let’s face it even if he was joking...girls don't find it funny when they are home crying into their Hagen Daaz. 

The friends recommended Sean and Doug as their picks for her. 

At night, Emily took the boys out for some…well…sit around time.  Sean is sweet.  I like him.  He comes from a good family. Emily really likes him and he said all the right things. 

Obsessive father Doug, continued to talk about being a father.  Emily wanted him to stop talking about being a dad and talk about himself.  So instead he talked about his dad who had epilepsy and died one night because he didn’t want to spend the grocery money on getting medication for himself…or something like that.  Wow.  I mean that’s a sweet story and it made Emily cry…but…um…Dougie needs to lighten up.  He’s too serious. 

Tony started to flip out on the date. Playing with the other kids made him miss his son.  Tony is pathetic.  He doesn’t know how to hit on a pretty girl.  Telling your hopeful gorgeous wife, how much you miss your kid….even if she is a mom….it’s not attractive.  It makes her feel sorry for you yes…but not in a “you’re hot!” kind of way…it’s more like a “you’re not strong enough for me” kind of way.   Tony is cute and he will find someone…but it’s for sure not Emily.   OCD Doug talked with Tony and I found it sweet how two dads sat and consoled each other.  I do like seeing Dads who are involved…believe me.  But at one point during the phone conversation with his son Taylor, my son Ian was sitting and playing with his Lincoln Logs and saw Tony talking to his son and he said, “what’s wrong with him??? Is he dying?”   You hit the nail on the head Ian.   

Emily again had to console Tony.  Why Tony decided to get emotional on a group date in front of Emily and not at the house where he spends most of his time with other dudes…well…I might smell a little acting.  Not Oscar worthy.  And I think Emily saw through it a bit…but played into it by sending him home.  :-)    And Tony was okay with it.  No tears were shed in this departure.  Bye Tony.

Ultimately Sean got the Rose.  Which made me happy.  Just wished he would have done some more push-ups with his shirt off. 

Date with Arie:  Dollywood

Ahhh….I love Arie.  Mmmmm Arie.  Race car drivers are hot.  And race car drivers at Dollywood are hotter still. 

They flew to Tennessee and went to Dollywood.  Arie is “super chill” and “good looking without trying too hard”…unlike Ryan.    And I have to say…I want to go to Dollywood.  Really. 

Emily was scared over the roller coaster.  But she had just scaled a wall 2 days ago.  Whatever.  Arie is awesome.  Sorry Rich…but Rich is also Team Arie with me.  He might have a man crush on Arie too. 

So they went to write a love song and out comes the tightest, whitest, sequinist jump suit in the world and in it was Dolly Parton.  I thought it as funny that Dolly was like, “you’re really surprised to see me…you’re at Dollywood???”  hahahahaha!  Why is Dolly not on the Top 40 anymore?  Seriously…she is awesome.   I liked that Dolly had some girl talk with Emily.  Emily was so smitten on Dolly…, “it’s crazy Dolly Parton even knows I exist on this planet.”  Wow.  If only Dolly knew I existed too.

I LOVED the song Dolly sang at the end.  It was so sweet.  Made me almost cry.  ALMOST.  And I think Emily is digging Arie.  As she should.  He is awesome.  Arie seems to be sincerely into Emily. 

At dinner time they shared.  Arie admitted to being in love with a girl who had two kids.  He was close to the two kids and even lived with the girl.  The girl broke up with him…and it was sad because he missed the kids.   Arie is ready for kids.  Not obsessively just normal.   Emily is good with the race car driver lifestyle.  Emily tried to mess with Arie about not giving him the Rose…and pretending like she wasn’t going to not give it to him.  “Awww…bless your heart, I couldn’t do it…I was going to make a joke…”  but I’m not funny…I’m just hot …ha ha ha ha   Then they went and made out on a merry-go-round!  Weeeeeeeee!!!  Of course Arie got the rose and he will be staying around for awhile.  He reminds her of Ricki’s father…he best relationship ever. 

Cocktail Party

Oh it gets good. 

Emily announces she has “a couple crushes.”  She steals Kalon first.  Oh goodie. 

Kalon was a little upset that he didn’t have a date…he was a Class A jerk.  He admits he has never had to share much in his life…RED FLAG.  They talk about him being a father to Ricki…he has hesitations.  And surprisingly says to her, “I love it when you talk but I wish you’d let me finish.”  That shut Emily down a but and felt he was condescending.  He was.  But she is trying to figure out if he just a jerk or a gentleman.

Travis with the egg…who we haven’t seen much of.  Travis and Emily smash Shelly the Egg.  This whole egg thing is STUPID.  Please Travis…please….you could be so adorable…but you’re odd. 

And then there is Alessjandro.  Oh man.  This guy is so funny and unfortunately doesn't know it.  They sat and discussed him being a father.  He tells her he is inexperienced with kids and that her daughter would be a compromise.  She was very careful that this was not a language barrier….he assured her there was no language barrier…it would be a compromise because he couldn’t be free to move away and do things.   Alessjandro didn’t seem to understand why this would be hard for Emily to understand.  Oh Alessjandro.  You are so funny.  He basically told her…well if I’m “willing to compromise” and take you and Ricki on…then I would consider it an honor I guess to be married to you.  Oh man.  And that was the last we heard of Alessjndro as he was sent home.  He was shocked…but admitted he couldn’t give Emily and Ricki what they needed.   (We learn later he told her friends, he cheated on a girlfriend, had a one night stand and dated his 3rd cousin!...LOL...He also said he was a gypsy and probably should never even be allowed to have a pet.  Her friends say to him, "SHE HAS A KID!"  LOL...don't they screen these guys????)

She came back in to the house and was upset but was quickly consoled quietly by Arie.  Mmmmm….Arie.  And they made out.  Yay!  But this was seen by Michael and Ryan was not happy.  Is Michael spending a lot of time in the bathroom...because I never see him except at the cocktail parties???  Who is he???

Emily spends some more time with Sean.  He said it was hard not to see her after their date.  He said, "In real life I would have called you or sent you a sweet text."   Texting is hot.  Sean is convinced his dad has prepared him to take on the role as a dad.  Aww…this was sweet.  He comes from a good home.  I would adopt Sean.  And Emily and Sean are both blond so they would have cute little blond babies. 

Rose Ceremony:

All got roses (shockingly even Kalon) except poor sweet Stevie!  I liked Stevie…but obviously not for Emily.  But he would be really fun to have at a wedding or bar mitzvah.  

Ryan is intimidated by Arie.  Ryan is sure he is the one to beat and can't figure out why Emily likes Arie.  Um...because he didn't say he'd dump her if she gets fat.  

Next Week:  Bermuda.  Bermuda.  Bermuda.  Nothing that exciting to report for next week episode.  Except Ryan is about to lose it with Arie.  

The Bachelorette Episode TWO!

 

So this post is late.  Monday night I had a meeting and got out at 10:10pm to watch the Bachelorette.  I was excited because my Mother In Law is visiting and she wanted to watch it with me and I couldn’t wait to blog on her comments :-)   Well the DVR was full and had NOT been recording the first hour of the show!  UGHHHHHHH!  So we decided to watch the last hour and I watched the first half of it tonight.  So it’s a little out of sequence in my mind…but I was happy to finally get to see the whole thing.  To top this week off our internet has been down until this afternoon…so…well…do you want to hear about me or The Bachelorette???  Because I could go on! 

 THE BACHELORETTE!

 

So we have the first of Emily’s 15 victims happily settled into their Charlotte mansion.  At the beginning of the show, Emily shows up with Ricki to a fake play date with some of her local mom friends.  She chatted with some of the moms about her upcoming dates with the guys, which could have been a very good set up for a tampon commercial.  Emily thanked the ladies for helping her get Ricki to soccer practice and I think we all collectively said at this point, “wow ABC, that was very sweetly staged.” 

The first date card arrives.  And Ryan gets the first date.  Football/Sporty Ryan is the first one up. 

Date #1 with Ryan – Soccer Mom Emily and A Night in Charlotte

Ryan is a good looking guy but really appears cocky to me.  Emily was intimidated because he is so good looking maybe she should look in a mirror once in awhile. It was kind of funny, Ryan thinking he would be going on a helicopter or going on a hot air balloon.  But instead, Ryan helped her make cookies for Ricki’s soccer practice.  I thought it was a smart date strategy.  Seeing if the guy can be normal when he was expecting to get jetted off to Miami for the day or something.  But they baked cookies.  Random thought, I seriously doubt Emily eats much cookie dough.   Emily then went to deliver cookies for Ricki’s game…and Ryan waited in the car and got to watch it from afar.  Emily delivered their cookies and juice boxes.   It was all lovely and fairy tale like with the little girls in the soccer jersey’s running up for their snack.   Ryan seemed to enjoy seeing this side of Emily and said to her when she returned to the car “You’re not putting on a show for me.”  Um…yes Ryan she is, it’s call, “The Bachelorette.”  Wake up call Ryan…your entire date is a show.    My mother in law pointed out that they were not comfortable with each other…which was very correct.  I think these brawny bachelor guys are probably not going to be comfortable with cookie baking unless it includes  some type of make out session in a hot tub while the cookies bake.

The second half of their date they went and had dinner and everyone in Charlotte was waiting for them to arrive at the restaurant.  Weird.  At dinner Emily asked hard questions.  Wanted to make sure this wasn’t a competition for the guys and asked questions about his past relationships.   Ryan actually answered things well.  He said that the guys will see this as a competition because they are guys.  YES!  I agree!  It ultimately is a competition.  Emily wants to be sure that Ryan isn’t too perfect.  Well I don’t think he is perfect…but I think he thinks he’s perfect, which ultimately negates the perfection.  

And Ryan gets the rose!  He is an obvious choice to keep for awhile.  He is easy to have an initial attraction to … doubt it will get too deep.  Gloriana then was waiting for them outside to play a song so they could cheesily dance for the crowd.  It was hard to watch and embarrassing.  Thankfully they held off on that first kiss to not do it in front of the crowd.  People had their cell phones out and were taking pictures of them…awkward. 

GROUP DATE with:  Alejandro, Tony, Jef, Charlie, Kyle, Aaron, Kalon, Stevie, Charlie ,Alessandro (the proper spelling of this name), Chris, Nate, Michael, John “Wolf”  - THE MUPPETS STEAL THE SHOW  

The guys were brought to a stage where they were going to be doing some “performing!”  Yay!   Now I enjoy the Muppets but it’s very difficult for me to blog about their silly interactions on the show because well…it’s kind of stupid.  So I will hold off as much as possible talking about Miss Piggy. 

The guys all get parts to do.  Head injuty Charlie, was a little concerned because he’s not really good at speaking yet because of his past injury.  And of course they were going to be perform with the Muppets.  Charlie sadly got put in the group with Fozzie the Bear that had to do stand up comedy.  Oh man…he couldn’t have been put in a worse group!  Dude…he had a head injury!    He sweetly went and talked with Emily about it.  I felt soooooooo bad for him.  He has some speech issues and even called it a disability.  Emily had him switch tasks.  It was sweet.  I love Charlie.  Not just because he is a big, cutie pie guy that I would totally go for but I like that he didn’t do really bad jokes in front of a huge audience and make us all cringe. 

When the show started it was  okay.  Kyle and John had to do the stand up comedy…it was pretty bad.  Ricki got to get up on stage with her mom and sing Rainbow Connection with Kermit.  So the guys got to see Emily with Ricki.  It was cute.   At the very end of the show  the guys came out with the words in hand to sing the song…and really?  They needed the words.  They raised money for a children’s hospital.  Blah blah blah…this date was really longer than it needed to be. 

After the event, they went to a “hangout” place to drink…that’s what I do on my group dates…but this isn’t about me!  Emily has time with Chris.  Emily likes Chris because he is not cocky but he’s good looking.  He was happy to hear that she thought he was good looking…duh?  Who doesn’t like to be told that?   Emily had time with one on one Jef…and she wanted to know why Jef didn’t talk to her all day.  She is so smitten with Jef and I have NO CLUE WHY?  She thinks Jef is cool and wants his attention.  Strange connection honestly, I don’t see what they have in common and his hair…oh Jef’s hair!  Let’s do a blog post on his hair very soon! 

Stevie and Em have their time and they dance a little…while Charlie snuck around peeking on them and then went back to tell the other guys to go stare at them dancing.  Kalon didn’t like this….but then no one likes Kalon.  Stevie doesn’t have a chance with Em.  He looks like he might do well on the cast of Jersey Shore though.  Kalon went and interrupted the time with Stevie.  In return, shortly after this,  Kalon’s time with Emily got stolen by Aaron.  Kalon wasn’t happy.  Kalon and Stevie had it out over  stealing time with Emily.  Kalon is young, he is stupid and he has a lot of money and was raised to be wealthy.  So he just has a different air about him.  And yes he is annoying and not that good looking.   

At the end of an incredibly long and drawn out group date…Emily decides to give the rose to Jef.  Her explanation was strange.  Let’s just be honest Emily, “Jef is like super cool and would like never have dated you in high school because you weren’t in high school you were like at racing events with your financee and now that you like get the chance to meet a guy who looks like a character from ‘Grease’ who is super cool like Jef…well gag me with a spoon if you’re not going to go for him!”  Sorry I’m a child of the 80s and we all valley girled it back then. 

Next date card comes and it’s for Hyper Joe! 

One on One Date with Joe:  “This one time in West Virginia…”

Emily had her final date, a one on one with Hyper “I’m not worthy of you” Joe.  Joe was much more tame and subdued on this date.  They were at some fancy hotel/resort place.  They showed them swimming in the indoor pool.  Emily’s little bikini was gussied up for the fancy hotel.  Little bows and lace. 

After the swim, they show them heading to dinner.  Emily admits as much as she likes Joe, a spark is missing.  They do look kind of weird together.  There was a lot of silence. He really seemed uncomfortable and had nothing to say.  Emily asked where he would fit in her life.  He threw the question back at her.  He then got incredibly submissive and said he’d go wherever she was and follow her.  Has no plan for the future…but Emily thinks he’s so sweet.  I expected her to say, “Bless his heart.”  Aka, “you’re so stupid.”   They suffered through dinner and then Emily had them go through this ritual a tradition at this hotel with the “Love Clock.”  They wrote little love notes to put inside the clock.  It was painful to watch.  Joe wrote that he wanted to come back to this hotel with her and Ricki in the future.  Emily…well she might have well written, ‘Joe I hope you find love someday with someone, cause you’re not going to with me.’  Once they got back to the table Emily started to cry and got very emotional in letting him go.  She didn’t feel like she and Ricki would fit into his life.  Joe said, “we can part ways now.”  She had to let him go because let’s face it …this is The Bachelorette.  If Joe couldn’t tell her he loved her and draw out his 5 step plan for how he would be the leader of their relationship and how he planned to support her lifestyle while she birthed all the babies, she had to cut him.  She only has 6 weeks to find the perfect man.  Rich and my mother in law and I were cracking up over her watching the fireworks alone…can you imagine Joe pulling away in the limo seeing all the fireworks going off…like, “is this chick celebrating my departure???” 

Back at the house the guys are talking about being an instant father. They are asking Kalon about it.  Kalon isn’t sure how he feels about it and said he will see how things go. Doug the overly obsessed father of an 11 year old, explains to Kalon that it is a big deal.  Kalon  says to Doug, “you made the decision to put being a dad on hold to be here.”  BIG MISTAKE Kalon.  Doug went off on this comment.  So basically the house still doesn’t like Kalon. 

COCKTAIL PARTY

 

Jef and Ryan have a rose from the early dates. 

Emily arrives in a purple dress with purple lipstick and looks beautiful. If I had worn this I would look like I walked right out of a Deb Store and into a 1992 Prom. 

Her first one on one time with smitten Aerie the racecar driver.  He shares with Emily that he has dated a woman with two children…BONUS POINTS!  Emily likey Aerie. 

The rest of the guys are all ticked off that Ryan who already has a rose is talking with Emily…um this happens every season.  Tony, father of a 5 year old is DESPERATE for time with her!!!  He goes in to break up their time together.  Just as he goes in for this Ryan hands Emily a present…turns out to be a SEVEN PAGE LETTER!  That apparently she has to read out loud in front of Tony standing there.  Awkward.    But seriously 7 pages?  Rich has trouble writing me a sentence on a card.  Ryan gives new meaning to the word Metrosexual.  But then Emily should NOT have read that stupid letter.  She needs to take control and say, “Thank you.  I will read that later in private.”  But she didn’t. 

Tony FINALLY got the chance to be with Emily.  And tell her that he has a 5 year old son.  Honestly, Emily looked bored during the conversation.  Like, “oh you have a child too…get in line.” But Tony feels they have a connection no other guys have.  Poor Tony. 

Kalon had his bizarre 1:1 time.  He feels out of his element in the house no butler or housekeepers and he is younger in the house as a 26 year old.  But to Emily he seems much older even though we’re reminded Emily herself is TWENTY-SIX!!!  26? She looks 35 and that she should be on a Real Housewives. 

My favorite quote of the night was from John “Wolf” and I can’t put the whole thing on my clean family blog…but he said in reference to Kalon,  “If you have Louis Vuitton luggaage and you’re a dude…”  Made me laugh.

Rose Ceremony:

Jef and Ryan already have roses. 

Roses went to Kalon, Aerie,  Michael, Nate, Sean, Chris, Doug, Travis, Tony, John Wolf, Alessjandro (the proper spelling), Charlie, Alejandro and Stevie

Sending:  Biology Teacher Aaron home (and according to Aaron, “she is missing out!”)  and  Kyle who? Home.   

Next Week we see she has a one on one date with Aerie and Dolly Parton!  Yeah Dolly!  And Chris where they go wall climbing and Chris sounds like a girl panicking at the wall. 

ALSO!  I was watching Good Morning America and they had a sneak peek at a conversation Emily will have with Kalon.  She is asking him about taking on the role of a father and he talks about not being sure as he felt his first child would also be his.  Emily is sweet with him and asks him to consider his mother who was a single mom and how that would have been for him…Kalon actually interrupts or shames Emily for not letting him talk.  Emily is seen saying, “I like tall, skinny guys but not ones that are condescending.”  Fun times ahead for Kalon!!!

So Proud of Ian

Ian had a bike race at school today!  He couldn't bring his bike because it was too big and would have to have had it's training wheels on it...so he used the bikes donated by other families for the race.  He told me that everyone would win and they needed to cheer for everyone.  He was also excited because he knew EVERYONE would get a medal.  He told me that I could look at his medal but not touch it.   So Dalton and I got there a little early to watch the race!  

The cones were set up in the parking lot all ready for the racers when we arrived. 

Ian didn't know we were coming to watch the race so he was excited.  

He was set to race on the big wheel! 

Here he is applauding for everyone!  He loved cheering on the others! 

I love that about Ian, he has a heart for others!  I video taped the actual races he was in so didn't get many pictures of that. 

 At the end all the preschoolers raced each other!  

Dalton had been pouting through most of the race as he wanted to join in.  He even ran back to the car at one point he was so upset this race didn't involve him.  So finally at the end the younger siblings got the chance to race too!  And so proud of Ian...when Dalton lined up on his bike, Ian picked up the bike he was on and moved over to race next to Dalton!  Melted my heart.  

Ian wanted to be next to his brother.  Awesome.  

They raced around the oval track. 

Ian was a little more aggressive this time around and even knocked a cone down! 

Dalton just enjoyed being a part of the group (and switched bikes up at one point!)

At the end medals were awarded to the preschoolers! 

Dalton watched the preschoolers get their medals and was fuming mad!  He wanted a medal too!  I felt like this was a good lesson for him that he can't get everything he wants.  

Ian was beaming from ear to ear with his medal!  

Dalton was sad and NOT happy for Ian.  Even though I tried to tell him he would get a medal next year in preschool.

We met up with Ian who proudly showed off his medal to us.  I applauded him but without me even saying ANYTHING, he noticed Dalton was sad.  Ian took off his medal and said, "here Dalton you can wear it for awhile okay, you did a good job riding your bike too."  

Talk about melting a mother's heart.  Wow.  It quite honestly doesn't get any sweeter for me than that!  Ian was so happy that Dalton was happy.  

And we happily left the preschool race...and look who was still wearing the medal ;-)  

So proud of you Ian!  You are an awesome big brother!!!

The Bachelorette with Emily! Episode 1

 

Hey All!  Welcome back to my ridiculous commentary on The Bachelor…although this time we’re going to Smurf it up a little because we’re talking about The Bachelorette!!!

Woo-hoo!  25 amazing guys for one woman!  Okay "amazing" is probably going to be stretching it a little bit.  I have not read any spoilers as of right now.  I am going to right my first “pure” post and let’s face it pure is kind of being used loosely.

I had good intentions to do a predictions post on all 25 of the men, but I noticed ABC’s website had a strange line up of Bachelors including a lot of former Bachelors and I didn’t think it was an accurate list.  So I decided to just wait and blog about it while watching the actual episode.  Which is another reason I didn't want to read ahead and see what others are saying. 

Let’s talk a bit about Emily our Bachelorette.  I saw and blogged about her on my old blog when she was on the Brad Womack Season.  She was his “chosen one” and of course they broke up.  Brad is so hot.  And I think Emily is every man’s dream girl on paper.  So if those two can’t make it work, even despite, Brad’s commitment issues…can this really work for Emily???   I was NOT happy when she decided to do this season because she was protective of her daughter, Ricki and being that she was a “single mom” she didn’t want to be seen doing certain things on TV.  She is obviously drop dead gorgeous in a Barbie doll style.  I just kind of felt like she should have decided to stay out of the spotlight for the sake of her sanity and her daughter.  But Emily is putting on her “big girl panties" (which I would love to compare her “big girl panties” to mine…bet her definition is skewed slightly) and going for it.  So bring on the train wreck!

Let me also remind you Emily is only 26 years old and she has been engaged TWO times already.  Her house is HUGE, and she obviously has money…. I would LOVE to know what her rush is to find “love” on TV.  Rich is not sure if he is going to like this season…in fact…he went to bed early.  RICH!!!  SHAME ON YOU!  (I gave him permission.)  They are filming this season in Charlotte, NC.   But are going to be traveling the world a lot! 

So they opened this 90 minute show (which I must say I liked the shorter version than the drawn out 2 hrs!) with focusing on a few of the guys.  These are the guys they focused on and my opinion:

Kalon – He is a wealthy guy from Texas.  He seemed  kind of yucky.   And he’s from Texas like Brad and not hot like Brad.  Also appeared too young for Emily’s mature 26 years. 

Ryan – He is a 31 year old, Football something.  Can’t recall what he does.  He’s cute.  Older but not too old.  Top pick in my opinion for Emily.

Tony – He is 30 and has a 5 year old son Taylor.  Not sure it would work, does not appear to be her type, but who knows.  

Lerone – I’m sorry but no.  He’s good looking.  But I am not sure he is her type. 

David – He is from New York City and a Singer/Songwriter…um…I smell some Kasey Kahl from Allie F. season with the “Emily” song.  He’s good looking but annoying and would drive me nuts with him singing my name over and over.  Although maybe I should have Rich try that for a day and see what I think.

Charlie – My first thought was that he is MY type…but not Emily’s.  As his story continued I realized why I liked him.  He’s 32 and had an accident a year ago when he was on a balcony that broke.  He also was shown with his enormous bull dog.  Um…was his bull dog on the balcony when it broke?  He says he had a head injury, not a heart injury…ha ha…see that’s why I like him…I always go for head injury dudes. 

Jef–   He is a very young looking CEO of a bottled water company.  NOT EMILY’S TYPE.   He is a skateboarder and really needs to see himself on TV with his hair to maybe make a style change.  If he continues on with Emily, I may have to do commentary from his hair.

Arie -  He is a race car driver…hmmm…well they have something in common.  And he’s cute….ohhhh cute. 

Those are the only guys they focused on at the beginning of the show. 

The Limos started to pull up and Emily was nervous!  And yes, she had reason to be.  These guys pulled out all the nerdy, stupid, tricks they could to get her attention.  So here’s the order of how they came out of the limos:

Sean – Not interesting.  Quick intro and dashed into the house. 

David – Singer/Songwriter…cutie.  Didn’t sing her name thankfully :-)  

Doug – 33 year old, single dad, told her this right away that he has an 11 year old son and asked about Ricki right away.   Not attractive right away, but sweet.

Jackson – Fitness Model, 29  and poured the charm  on thick, but I think annoyed her. 

Joe – 27…YIKES.  Hyper, very excited to be there, obviously didn’t feel worthy of being in Emily’s presence and I think he scared her. 

Arie – He is the 30 year old Race car driver.  ohhhh….jack pot!  Connection I think.   She liked what she saw. 

Kyle – 29 – a little creepy in starring at her.  Kept hugging her but really no impression was made.

Chris – 25  I don’t think he will be a keeper.  Long winded.  Begged her in his introduction to keep him around.   

Aaron – 36 year old Biology Teacher and a weirdo.  Walked out with Huge glasses…and made a joke about being a biology teacher but having chemistry with her. 

Alejandro – Brazilian from Minneapolis.  Creepy…and um…no…

Jef –  The young dude with a beehive.  He skateboarded up to her from behind the limo. 

Lerone – Poured on the compliments.  A little awkward that he LOVES she is a single mom.  I guess he thought that would be the only thing she is looking for.

Stevie – Came out with a beat box danced his way up to her.  Cute but too young.  She may keep him cause he’s fun! 

Charlie –  The 32 year old head injury guy. He will have no recollection of their meeting the next day and neither will Emily.  

Tony – Walked up to her with a  Pillow with a glass slipper.  CHEEEEEEESSSSSEEEEEYYYY!  Threw up a little in my mouth. 

Randy – I have no clue what this dude was thinking.  He got out of the limo in a grandma’s outfit and said he had someone he wanted her to meet.  Then he took off the outfit.  Reminded me a PSYCHO!   Bye Randy!

Nate – Normal…cute…boring.

Brent – He is 41.  Very friendly.  And would have loved him, but he pulled out a name tag to help her remember his name.  

John “Wolf” – He is 30…he’s excited she is here.  Cute guy.  But will need to do something to last a long time.  Maybe howl more often? 

Travis –  He is a 30 year old carrying around an ostrich  egg.  You see according to Travis, the egg symbolizes two beautiful people…Emily and Ricki…he will take care of the egg like he’d take care of Emily and Ricki.  Isn’t that a highschool parenting class assignment?  Maybe Travis needs to take some parenting classes prior to this engagement. 

Michael – He is a 26 year old Rehab counselor.  He has long hair and tosses it back a lot.  He is also from Austin where Brad is from.   Bye Michael!

Jean-Paul – He is 35 and reminded me of my next door neighbor. 

Alejandro – Another Alejandro!   From Columbia and San Fran….kind of hot…but not for her.  Hot in a Mexican restaurant waiter kind of way…

Ryan –  This is the football guy.  I love him.  He wrote on a note to her, You are Beautiful and flip it over and it said, I’m so nervous note.  So sweet…and hot.  She liked it. 

Enter the season’s first helicopter.   Kalon  the wealthy dude.  He had to make an impression with his helicopter (maybe it wasn’t his…probably all staged.)  All the guys hated him immediately.  He was a dork. 

First opinion of the guys as a whole:  what a bunch of dorks.  I think I only have a few that might have a connection with her.  But Emily, well she was impressed! Or completely medicated.

So Emily begins the 1:1 time with the guys.  Chris  brought bobble heads of him and Emily.  Then he had them role play their relationship.  This guy is a tool.   But Emily says he is “super hot”  Did they give her alcohol with sedatives before this party? 

Jef the dude with the beehive is completely annoying.  But Emily thinks he is “cool” and she is a “nerd.”  I think that Jef would actually bring out Emily’s “high school” days back.  Maybe they could go hang out at the Peach Pit and go to a Backstreet Boys concert.  She might be able to let loose a bit with Jef.  Until she realizes, he is so out of her league.  I mean can you imagine going from Brad to Jef?  yikes!

Doug with the 11 year old son was obsessed with Ricki and where she was.   But Emily liked him and was sweet with him.  Doug’s son wrote Emily a note.  I actually found him more attractive as time went on with his 1:1 with Emily. He also made sure she knew he had full-custody of his son.  Does that mean his ex is not involved or the courts deemed him "competent"? 

The first impression rose arrives.  The guys decide that any guy who shows up in a helicopter and doesn’t get the First impression rose should go jump off a cliff.  I found it crazy that the guys were intimidated or irritated by the helicopter guy, Kalon.  They were upset with him forcing his “money” on her. He was annoying though so I do get it.

Kalon got some time with Emily.  He was raised by a single mom and that is about all we learn about him.  There 1:1 got interrupted by Sean.  Kalon wasn’t happy.  The other guys were not happy with Kalon the whole night. 

Arie got some 1:1 time with Emily and he was concerned about his profession as a race car driver.  He brought it up right away.  She seemed okay with all because that had been huge part of her life and she thought Arie was hot.  Well…he is!

Emily gave the first impression rose to DOUG!  Single dad Doug…wow!  She liked his son’s letter. That was probably a good move and a safe choice to give it to him.

Chris Harrison arrives and says times up!  Ding ding ding! 

So who made the cut: 

Bobble Head Chris, Ryan the Football Hottie, Helicopter Kalon, Racecar Driver Arie, Head injury Charlie,  Beehive Jef, Nate who no one knows, Sean 1^st out of the limo, Hyper I Don’t Deserve to Be Here Joe, Kyle who?,  Biology Teacher with Chemistry Aaron, Alejandro Uno, Cute John aka Wolf,  Alejandrao Dos, Long haired Micheal, DJ Stevie, Tony with the Glass Slipper, and drum rolllll Travis with the Egg.    These guys made writing this blog post and coming up with names for them WAY  too easy! 

The rejected guys exited gracefully.  One guy on the way out, Brent said he had 6 kids and doesn’t think finding love at 41 with 6 kids may be possible.  Wow!  He needs to be on the Duggar dating game show!

Oh that was fun!   Please comment and tell me your favorites from the night!!! 

This Season Highlights – Traveling the world!  A lot of kissing!  Ricki will travel with her.   She seems more relaxed than how she was with Brad’s season.   One of the dudes gets called out for calling her daughter “baggage.”  A lot of dudes crying.  And DOLLY PARTON!  What else could you ask for!

At the very end of the show the guy in the pink shirt, who I think was the fitness model Jackson, said Emily missed out and he showed his 6 pack abs…he should have opened with that!!! 

Mothering

I think every woman and man for that matter needs a strong female role model.  Not everyone is blessed with one.  One thing is for sure...I was.  I feel sometimes that as a mother I can't live up to the way my mother raised me.  In my mind my mother never really very many major parenting mistakes.  She was always there for us.  She never said a swear word that I can ever recall.  She would lock herself in her room and take a nap when she was angry.  I don't remember getting spanked, but she did drive us to the store once to go buy a wooden spoon to spank us with...although I don't remember her using it.  She was at times brutally honest with us as we got older.  She told me to suck it up and bought me luggage when I graduated from high school because I was going to college and she wasn't going to "handicap me" by allowing me to live with her forever even though I probably would have happily.  She was and still is a tough cookie with a gentle and kind heart.  When my boys cry or are sick, I simply am just there and cuddle with them...because that's what my mom did.  She was there for us.  I still just sometimes want my mommy.  But now that I am the mommy I am the one to have the pleasure to be there and cuddle with my boys. 

I'm not sure where I get my quirkiness from as a mother:

I take joy in being my own person as a mom.  I add a little bit of fun into my daily life with my boys.  And I probably get some of that from my mom.  She is someone I definitely can laugh with.  We have our inside jokes and sometimes just get each other.  I truly hope my boys find me to be the same way as my mom.  As much as I want to be left alone to enjoy Mother's Day in my bed taking a nap (which I did do for a few hours!) my boys are the reason I'm a mom and I am thankful for them today!