The Bachelorette Emily: BERMUDA!

 

Sing along!  “Bermuda, Bahamas come on pretty mama”

We are in Bermuda this week. Well “we” are not there…but…let’s pretend we are! 

Emily and Ricki are there on the beach having fun.  I am glad she brought her daughter for her travels.  It just makes sense to bring her and showcase the love between mother and daughter.   

The guys make it to Bermuda and there is tension in the air!  It’s all fun though.  Kind of.  The guys are turning into a bunch of women, sitting around without TV/Sports/Books etc.  The first date card comes and it’s for a 1:1 for Doug.   Before the date, Doug is acting nervous.  But the guys were interrogating him and he wasn’t handling it well. Doug would be hard to live with.  He’s super intense and obsessed with his kid.   But Doug didn’t like anyone making fun of him.  He was on the verge of beating the crap out of,  well no one but he said Arie,  when Emily walks in to this weird room full of testosterone on the verge of an estrogen burst…

1:1 with Doug

 

Emily feels that Doug is good looking and super fun to hang out with. But she says this about almost all the guys.  Even the ugly ones.  Does Doug remind anyone else of Ryan Reynolds the actor?  Anyways…Doug really enjoyed shopping with Emily.  Maybe he’s a little bit of a metrosexual?  He’s super sensitive.  Emily really wanted to get to know Doug…but Doug still can’t stop talk about being a dad.  Emily is digging for things on Doug that are wrong and all Doug can say is, “well I started a charity for….”   Can’t remember what the charity was for but Emily was kind of like…a charity?   Um…yeah…me too…me too…it’s called the Stinker Pinker Wanna Go on Vacay to some place other than a campground….PLEASE DONATE!

They wrote Doug’s son Austin a postcard, which made Doug’s day!!!  Because he is a dad that LOVES his kid every second of the day!  With all his heart and he wears his heart on his sleeve and probably on a T-shirt under his clothes, "I heart my Son!"  They walked under a romantic arch.  At dinner Doug was sweet but Emily feels like Doug is hiding something from her.  She felt he was kind of like Brad.  Too perfect.    Emily wanted to know his flaws.  So Doug lists them, 1)  He spends too much time with his son and 2) he didn’t wash his former girlfriends car enough.   All his answers were too perfect for Emily.  So Doug says to Emily…"well what are your flaws?"  Emily says, “I don’t workout.”  I hate you Emily.  And she spends days in her Pjs and then goes out in public in her Pjs.  And we all agree…we suddenly hate Emily.  Oh but then she realizes…it’s hard to come up with flaws when she IS so perfect.   So she gave up when she realized they were just two perfect people with no flaws and gave him the rose!    Was it just me or did Doug look a little greasy on the date?  He always looks kind of sweaty.  Anyways…at the end of the date Doug sits and stares at Emily.  He says in a later interview that he wanted to kiss her but he doesn’t make the first move.  Doug?  Wake up!  She is the bachelorette…YOU HAVE TO SHOW YOUR INTEREST!  She’s not moving in for you…you aren’t THAT perfect. 

Group Date!  Let’s Set Sail on the Sea of Love:  Charlie, Ryan, Chris, Jef, Sean, Arie, Travis, Kalon

Sailing!  Yay!  It’s so pretty in Bermuda.  The guys learned how to sail.  And then had a race…and the losers go back to the hotel.  The winners spend time with Emily.  

So the teams were Red Team:  Travis, Sean, Charlie, Chris vs.  Yellow Team:  Jef, Arie, Ryan, Kalon.  Red Team was overly confident, despite the fact they had Charlie who never knows where he is or what he’s doing.  Yellow, team just tried to do their best.  They worked better together and ultimately…won.  I think it helped them to have Arie on the team who is a professional racer.  He seemed to know better what to do in competition.  The Red team was sad.  I liked the yellow team but Kalon was on the team.  But, I think we all wanted to see more of Kalon putting his foot in his mouth. 

The Red Team was defeated.  Charlie was crying…because he was embarrassed.  

Emily got to spend time with the 4 guys who won.  Ryan unfortunately was there…but it was ultimately good for her to see more of Ryan.  Ryan made a toast to Emily and called her a possible “trophy wife.”   She seemed disturbed by the comment. I think we are are becoming a little distrubed by Ryan.

Her time with Arie they sat on the beach, trying to keep a blanket over their shoulder that kept distracting me because it kept blowing off them.  They basically just wanted to make out.  Arie is sweet.  And really into Emily and I think for the right reasons.  I think Emily should be the better looking one in the relationship and Arie is good looking but not better looking than her and a good match for Emily.  

Jef and Emily tried to keep the blanket around them on the beach too.  Ultimately Emily took the blanket.  Jef’s hair is just plain odd.  He seems so much younger than Emily.  And for what ever reason, Emily likes Jef.  It’s strange.  They sat at their one on one time and at an awkward ending as Emily gave him an opportunity to kiss him and he didn’t.  Jef looks like he’s out of 1980 Brat Pack movie. 

Kalon’s 1:1 time.  Well sadly there wasn’t much to it.  I guess he didn’t say anything stupid enough to make it on TV. 

Ryan has no idea what the heck he is doing on this show.  He can’t figure out why Emily isn’t throwing herself at him.  Ryan states he is not there to impress Emily but to make an impression.   Emily brought up the whole fat thing from last week.  How she doesn’t like some of the things he says.  He basically called it flirting with her.  And he couldn’t stop talking about how good looking their kids would be.  Ryan is super condescending and feels Emily has been given an opportunity as the Bachleorette to impact tons of people and especially young women.  Which led into trying to make her feel bad for kissing Arie last week at the cocktail party and not being a good role model for girls.  Emily feels he is judging her.  Yes he is.  Ryan states he’s  “a good catch”.  He is, but only …for himself.  I think if he could marry himself he would.  Yes he would.

Jef got the rose.  I think that Emily gave him the rose because for some odd reason she doesn’t know if Jef likes her as much as she likes him. 

The Last Date: 2:1 Date – Nate and Wolf  - Let’s Explore this Bermuda Love Triangle

We haven’t really seen much of Nate and Wolf aka John.  Wolf I recall is pretty funny and I think she found Nate really attractive. 

They went on a boat and went cliff jumping.  They tried to make the best of their awkward time drinking champagne on a boat together…two dudes and Emily.  They head then to some caves for dinner.  It was pretty cool.  What a romantic place for a three person date.  It was a small little table.  Nate was excited about the quinoa on the plate and that it was a good source of fiber.  No one wanted to eat.

So Emily took Nate away from some 1:1 time.  Nate admits that he has done nothing to try and win Emily over.  But she basically gave him about 10 min. to tell her everything she needed to know about him.  He broke down crying over his family.  Yikes.  She’s a mom but she’s not your mom.  Bad time to start crying. 

Wolf’s 1:1 time was smooth.  He was eloquent and knew who he was.  He’s cute and funny. 

Emily ultimately sent Nate home.  Wow.  Boo-hoo….poor Nate.  Now he’s really going to cry.  Emily felt like Nate was sweet and ultimately not mature enough for her life. Agree. 

Before the Cocktail Party Drama: 

We see Emily sitting down with Ricki and helping her with  her homework before the Cocktail party in her dress up fancy clothes.  I wish my mom would have dressed up more for homework time!  Maybe I would have done better in school.  Kidding Mom!

There was a debate in the house about how the age of a man effects their maturity and what would be good for Emily.  Doug who is 33 and Ryan 31 were acting like know it alls because they are older.  Chris who is 25 disagreed with them.  I do have to say Chris is more mature than Ryan and Doug.   But this whole thing really bothered Chris.

Cocktail Time!  Bottoms up!

Alejandro feels that he hasn’t had time with Emily.  And Emily agrees.   But I really don’t remember much from there 1:1 time. Because let's face it if Alejandro makes even to the hometown dates....we'll all be shocked.  Because I can't really see Emily ending up with a Mushroom Farmer. 

Ryan has some more fantastic time with Emily.  Ryan is intimidating.  He’s cocky…still into himself.   Ryan wants to know why Emily is “worthy”….he’s trying to be sure Emily is the one for him because he’s a good catch.  But he feels that maybe he’s called to something bigger.  He actually says behind Emily’s back, that if this doesn’t work out for him he has media contacts and will root for a Bachelor Series of his own,  “Bachelor Ryan: Augusta, Georgia”.  Ugh.  What an idiot. 

Arie interrupted Ryan’s time which was hilarious…the guys encouraged him to because they thought Ryan was getting an ego...uh "getting?"   Arie and Emily have a good connection.  Although he can’t get too arrogant.  In my opinion he may be coming on too strong…but Emily may like that.

Sean had some time with Emily.    They dig each other and like to kiss each other. Sean is cute but not very memorable...but he has a good chance with her. 

Doug and Ryan have an odd conversation.  They reassure each other that you don't have to kiss Emily to have a connection.  He and Ryan feel like physical stuff isn’t as important as you get older.  What?  I think what they are really saying is, "I haven't kissed her yet...but I am so hot...so she doesn't need to kiss me...she can just look at me and know there is a connection."   They both want Emily to hit on them.  Whatever.  She doesn't have to do that.  

Chris and Emily go outside and chat.  Chris is feeling down about Doug’s comments about age.  So he tells Emily this is bothering him, which he strongly disagrees with and feels he is ready to be a husband and father.  Chris is mature.  But he needs to let it go.  But he doesn’t.  He confronts Doug on this.  Doug laughs at him.  It was a weird conversation between two really awkward guys.  I think Chris tried to talk to him and he lost his train of thought…and Doug laughing at him didn’t help.  What Doug should have done is said, “I’m sorry you’re upset.  I like you,  can we put this behind us.”  That would have been mature.  Instead he was condescending. 

Chris Harrison and Emily Time

Emily seems to know what’s going on.  Is Doug perfect or is there something else going on with him?  Every disagreement or problem in the house seems to stem from Doug or Ryan.  She likes Jef, but he won’t kiss her and she doesn’t know why.  She realizes she talks to guys and find them sweet and then can’t see herself sending them home.   But she also realizes there are some guy who may be tricking her a bit, specifically Ryan.  She is seeing him trying to manipulate her.  Smart girl. 

Boring Rose Ceremony:

Roses go to all except:  Charlie L  and Micheal.  I don’t ever recall seeing ANY interviews with Michael.  And after the sting of being eliminated, Charlie probably won’t recall that he was eliminated.

I do want to say something about Michael and Charlie leaving and how they were both crying.  I read awhile back that the producers of the show, when they film the women leaving in the limos, have been known to drive around for hours and hours with the women bringing up every subject possibly including pets dying, friends of theirs that are sick, boyfriends dumping them etc. etc. to get them to cry.  My thought is that these two guys probably had the same thing happen to them.  The grill them until they break down!  Just an interesting piece of Bachelor/Bachelorette Trivia. 

Next week:  LONDON ENGLAND!  And believe me…it’s gonna be goooooooood!  You do not want to miss what happens.  So cool.  Best exit ever!