August...oh no.

I haven't been blogging much as I have had a busy last few weeks.  Summer seems like it's come and gone and I just have odd feelings over summer.  It's been boring the weeks the kids and I have been home, yet I hate to see summer go so fast.  We have a kindergartener in our midst and he starts August 20th!   I am not ready to let go of my oldest Stinker Pinker.  I kind of want him to stay with me, yet I know I need to let him go.  He was just a baby like yesterday.  Even though I know the years of raising him to get to this point have seemed long at times.  I am super happy he's only starting kindergarten and not college! 

I was kind of moping around today.  We just got back home Monday, from being gone for a week.  We dropped the boys off at my parents and Rich and I flew out to Las Vegas to the Scentsy convention.  It was an amazing four days.  Loved every minute.  Missed the kids.  So we were happy to see them on Saturday. 

At the convention my head was spinning with all the new announcements and additions Scentsy is making to their product lines and new brands.  I was suppose to feel energized after attending convention but I felt myself today feeling overwhelmed. 

It hit me tonight after chatting with Rich, that I am sad.  Sad over kindergarten, Ian turning 6 and having to enroll him in soccer.  I should be so excited about all these new things for him.  He is excited!  But for me I'm just trying to process how this sweet little baby boy is turning into such a young man almost.  Yes he's still a boy.  But his heart and spirit are developing at such a mature level.  Even though his actions and mannerisms are age appropriate, he has thoughts and visions that to me are very much beyond his 6 years.  His relationship with God is so sweet.  He knows Jesus and he is such a little preacher at times.  Trying to hone this "gift" for lack of a better word, so he continues to be sensitive to differences among people is something I have been working on with him.  But I'm so proud of who he has become. 

But back to my sadness.  I guess it's really not sad that I have to let him go because he's ready.  It's probably me being selfish.  I don't like to share my Ian.  But I'm super proud of him and can't wait for him to learn and grow.  We didn't start him in kindergarten last Fall because the cut off date was August 1st and he is an August 8th birthday.  We decided he was on the brink and to give him another year.  We are happy we did. 

My ability as a mom to raise him and continue to be there for him will hopefully reflect positively on who he grows in to become.  And so far, I like what I see.  And we will all make it past this hurdle we are facing this month.