So this post is late. Monday night I had a meeting
and got out at 10:10pm to watch the Bachelorette. I was excited because my Mother In Law is visiting and she
wanted to watch it with me and I couldn’t wait to blog on her comments :-) Well the DVR was full and had NOT been
recording the first hour of the show!
UGHHHHHHH! So we decided to
watch the last hour and I watched the first half of it tonight. So it’s a little out of sequence in my
mind…but I was happy to finally get to see the whole thing. To top this week off our internet
has been down until this afternoon…so…well…do you want to hear about me or The
Bachelorette??? Because I could go
on!
THE BACHELORETTE!
So we have the first of Emily’s 15 victims happily settled
into their Charlotte mansion. At
the beginning of the show, Emily shows up with Ricki to a fake play date with
some of her local mom friends. She
chatted with some of the moms about her upcoming dates with the guys, which
could have been a very good set up for a tampon commercial. Emily thanked the ladies for helping
her get Ricki to soccer practice and I think we all collectively said at this
point, “wow ABC, that was very sweetly staged.”
The first date card arrives. And Ryan gets the first date. Football/Sporty Ryan is the first one up.
Date #1 with Ryan – Soccer Mom Emily and A Night in Charlotte
Ryan is a good looking guy but really appears cocky to
me. Emily was intimidated because
he is so good looking maybe she should look in a mirror once in awhile. It was kind of funny, Ryan thinking he
would be going on a helicopter or going on a hot air balloon. But instead, Ryan helped her make
cookies for Ricki’s soccer practice.
I thought it was a smart date strategy. Seeing if the guy can be normal when he was expecting to get
jetted off to Miami for the day or something. But they baked cookies. Random thought, I seriously doubt Emily eats much cookie
dough. Emily then went to
deliver cookies for Ricki’s game…and Ryan waited in the car and got to watch it
from afar. Emily delivered their
cookies and juice boxes. It
was all lovely and fairy tale like with the little girls in the soccer jersey’s
running up for their snack.
Ryan seemed to enjoy seeing this side of Emily and said to her when she
returned to the car “You’re not putting on a show for me.” Um…yes Ryan she is, it’s call, “The
Bachelorette.” Wake up call
Ryan…your entire date is a show. My mother in law pointed out that they were not
comfortable with each other…which was very correct. I think these brawny bachelor guys are probably not going to
be comfortable with cookie baking unless it includes some type of make out session in a hot tub while the cookies
bake.
The second half of their date they went and had dinner and
everyone in Charlotte was waiting for them to arrive at the restaurant. Weird. At dinner Emily asked hard questions. Wanted to make sure this wasn’t a
competition for the guys and asked questions about his past relationships. Ryan actually answered things
well. He said that the guys will
see this as a competition because they are guys. YES! I agree! It ultimately is a competition. Emily wants to be sure that Ryan isn’t
too perfect. Well I don’t think he
is perfect…but I think he thinks he’s perfect, which ultimately negates the
perfection.
And Ryan gets the rose! He is an obvious choice to keep for awhile. He is easy to have an initial
attraction to … doubt it will get too deep. Gloriana then was waiting for them outside to play a song so
they could cheesily dance for the crowd.
It was hard to watch and embarrassing. Thankfully they held off on that first kiss to not do it in
front of the crowd. People had
their cell phones out and were taking pictures of them…awkward.
GROUP DATE with:
Alejandro, Tony, Jef, Charlie, Kyle, Aaron, Kalon, Stevie, Charlie
,Alessandro (the proper spelling of this name), Chris, Nate, Michael, John
“Wolf” - THE MUPPETS STEAL THE
SHOW
The guys were brought to a stage where they were going to be
doing some “performing!” Yay! Now I enjoy the Muppets but it’s
very difficult for me to blog about their silly interactions on the show
because well…it’s kind of stupid.
So I will hold off as much as possible talking about Miss Piggy.
The guys all get parts to do. Head injuty Charlie, was a little concerned because he’s not
really good at speaking yet because of his past injury. And of course they were going to be
perform with the Muppets. Charlie
sadly got put in the group with Fozzie the Bear that had to do stand up
comedy. Oh man…he couldn’t have
been put in a worse group! Dude…he
had a head injury! He
sweetly went and talked with Emily about it. I felt soooooooo bad for him. He has some speech issues and even called it a
disability. Emily had him switch tasks. It was sweet. I love Charlie.
Not just because he is a big, cutie pie guy that I would totally go for
but I like that he didn’t do really bad jokes in front of a huge audience and
make us all cringe.
When the show started it was okay. Kyle and
John had to do the stand up comedy…it was pretty bad. Ricki got to get up on stage with her mom and sing Rainbow
Connection with Kermit. So the
guys got to see Emily with Ricki.
It was cute. At the
very end of the show the guys came
out with the words in hand to sing the song…and really? They needed the words. They raised money for a children’s
hospital. Blah blah blah…this date
was really longer than it needed to be.
After the event, they went to a “hangout” place to
drink…that’s what I do on my group dates…but this isn’t about me! Emily has time with Chris. Emily likes Chris because he is not
cocky but he’s good looking. He
was happy to hear that she thought he was good looking…duh? Who doesn’t like to be told that? Emily had time with one on one
Jef…and she wanted to know why Jef didn’t talk to her all day. She is so smitten with Jef and I have
NO CLUE WHY? She thinks Jef is
cool and wants his attention.
Strange connection honestly, I don’t see what they have in common and
his hair…oh Jef’s hair! Let’s do a
blog post on his hair very soon!
Stevie and Em have their time and they dance a little…while
Charlie snuck around peeking on them and then went back to tell the other guys
to go stare at them dancing. Kalon
didn’t like this….but then no one likes Kalon. Stevie doesn’t have a chance with Em. He looks like he might do well on the
cast of Jersey Shore though. Kalon
went and interrupted the time with Stevie. In return, shortly after this, Kalon’s time with Emily got stolen by Aaron. Kalon wasn’t happy. Kalon and Stevie had it out over stealing time with Emily. Kalon is young, he is stupid and he has
a lot of money and was raised to be wealthy. So he just has a different air about him. And yes he is annoying and not that good
looking.
At the end of an incredibly long and drawn out group
date…Emily decides to give the rose to Jef. Her explanation was strange. Let’s just be honest Emily, “Jef is like super cool and
would like never have dated you in high school because you weren’t in high
school you were like at racing events with your financee and now that you like
get the chance to meet a guy who looks like a character from ‘Grease’ who is
super cool like Jef…well gag me with a spoon if you’re not going to go for him!” Sorry I’m a child of the 80s and we all
valley girled it back then.
Next date card comes and it’s for Hyper Joe!
One on One Date with Joe: “This one time in West Virginia…”
Emily had her final date, a one on one with Hyper “I’m not
worthy of you” Joe. Joe was much
more tame and subdued on this date.
They were at some fancy hotel/resort place. They showed them swimming in the indoor pool. Emily’s little bikini was gussied up
for the fancy hotel. Little bows
and lace.
After the swim, they show them heading to dinner. Emily admits as much as she likes Joe,
a spark is missing. They do look
kind of weird together. There was
a lot of silence. He really seemed uncomfortable and had nothing to say. Emily asked where he would fit in her
life. He threw the question back
at her. He then got incredibly
submissive and said he’d go wherever she was and follow her. Has no plan for the future…but Emily
thinks he’s so sweet. I expected
her to say, “Bless his heart.”
Aka, “you’re so stupid.”
They suffered through dinner and then Emily had them go through this
ritual a tradition at this hotel with the “Love Clock.” They wrote little love notes to put
inside the clock. It was painful
to watch. Joe wrote that he wanted
to come back to this hotel with her and Ricki in the future. Emily…well she might have well written,
‘Joe I hope you find love someday with someone, cause you’re not going to with
me.’ Once they got back to the
table Emily started to cry and got very emotional in letting him go. She didn’t feel like she and Ricki
would fit into his life. Joe said,
“we can part ways now.” She had to
let him go because let’s face it …this is The Bachelorette. If Joe couldn’t tell her he loved her
and draw out his 5 step plan for how he would be the leader of their
relationship and how he planned to support her lifestyle while she birthed all
the babies, she had to cut him.
She only has 6 weeks to find the perfect man. Rich and my mother in law and I were cracking up over her
watching the fireworks alone…can you imagine Joe pulling away in the limo
seeing all the fireworks going off…like, “is this chick celebrating my
departure???”
Back at the house the guys are talking about being an
instant father. They are asking Kalon about it. Kalon isn’t sure how he feels about it and said he will see
how things go. Doug the overly obsessed father of an 11 year old, explains to
Kalon that it is a big deal.
Kalon says to Doug, “you
made the decision to put being a dad on hold to be here.” BIG MISTAKE Kalon. Doug went off on this comment. So basically the house still doesn’t
like Kalon.
COCKTAIL PARTY
Jef and Ryan have a rose from the early dates.
Emily arrives in a purple dress with purple lipstick and
looks beautiful. If I had worn this I would look like I walked right out of a
Deb Store and into a 1992 Prom.
Her first one on one time with smitten Aerie the racecar
driver. He shares with Emily that
he has dated a woman with two children…BONUS POINTS! Emily likey Aerie.
The rest of the guys are all ticked off that Ryan who
already has a rose is talking with Emily…um this happens every season. Tony, father of a 5 year old is
DESPERATE for time with her!!! He
goes in to break up their time together.
Just as he goes in for this Ryan hands Emily a present…turns out to be a
SEVEN PAGE LETTER! That apparently
she has to read out loud in front of Tony standing there. Awkward. But seriously
7 pages? Rich has trouble writing
me a sentence on a card. Ryan
gives new meaning to the word Metrosexual. But then Emily should NOT have read that stupid letter. She needs to take control and say,
“Thank you. I will read that later
in private.” But she didn’t.
Tony FINALLY got the chance to be with Emily. And tell her that he has a 5 year old
son. Honestly, Emily looked bored
during the conversation. Like, “oh
you have a child too…get in line.” But Tony feels they have a connection no
other guys have. Poor Tony.
Kalon had his bizarre 1:1 time. He feels out of his element in the house no butler or housekeepers and he is younger in the house as a 26 year old. But to Emily he seems much older even
though we’re reminded Emily herself is TWENTY-SIX!!! 26? She looks 35 and that she should be on a Real
Housewives.
My favorite quote of the night was from John “Wolf” and I
can’t put the whole thing on my clean family blog…but he said in reference to Kalon, “If you have Louis Vuitton luggaage and
you’re a dude…” Made me laugh.
Rose Ceremony:
Jef and Ryan already have roses.
Roses went to Kalon, Aerie, Michael, Nate, Sean, Chris, Doug, Travis, Tony, John Wolf,
Alessjandro (the proper spelling), Charlie, Alejandro and Stevie
Sending:
Biology Teacher Aaron home (and according to Aaron, “she is missing
out!”) and Kyle who? Home.
Next Week we see she has a one on one date with Aerie and
Dolly Parton! Yeah Dolly! And Chris where they go wall climbing
and Chris sounds like a girl panicking at the wall.
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