The Bachelorette with Emily! Episode 1

 

Hey All!  Welcome back to my ridiculous commentary on The Bachelor…although this time we’re going to Smurf it up a little because we’re talking about The Bachelorette!!!

Woo-hoo!  25 amazing guys for one woman!  Okay "amazing" is probably going to be stretching it a little bit.  I have not read any spoilers as of right now.  I am going to right my first “pure” post and let’s face it pure is kind of being used loosely.

I had good intentions to do a predictions post on all 25 of the men, but I noticed ABC’s website had a strange line up of Bachelors including a lot of former Bachelors and I didn’t think it was an accurate list.  So I decided to just wait and blog about it while watching the actual episode.  Which is another reason I didn't want to read ahead and see what others are saying. 

Let’s talk a bit about Emily our Bachelorette.  I saw and blogged about her on my old blog when she was on the Brad Womack Season.  She was his “chosen one” and of course they broke up.  Brad is so hot.  And I think Emily is every man’s dream girl on paper.  So if those two can’t make it work, even despite, Brad’s commitment issues…can this really work for Emily???   I was NOT happy when she decided to do this season because she was protective of her daughter, Ricki and being that she was a “single mom” she didn’t want to be seen doing certain things on TV.  She is obviously drop dead gorgeous in a Barbie doll style.  I just kind of felt like she should have decided to stay out of the spotlight for the sake of her sanity and her daughter.  But Emily is putting on her “big girl panties" (which I would love to compare her “big girl panties” to mine…bet her definition is skewed slightly) and going for it.  So bring on the train wreck!

Let me also remind you Emily is only 26 years old and she has been engaged TWO times already.  Her house is HUGE, and she obviously has money…. I would LOVE to know what her rush is to find “love” on TV.  Rich is not sure if he is going to like this season…in fact…he went to bed early.  RICH!!!  SHAME ON YOU!  (I gave him permission.)  They are filming this season in Charlotte, NC.   But are going to be traveling the world a lot! 

So they opened this 90 minute show (which I must say I liked the shorter version than the drawn out 2 hrs!) with focusing on a few of the guys.  These are the guys they focused on and my opinion:

Kalon – He is a wealthy guy from Texas.  He seemed  kind of yucky.   And he’s from Texas like Brad and not hot like Brad.  Also appeared too young for Emily’s mature 26 years. 

Ryan – He is a 31 year old, Football something.  Can’t recall what he does.  He’s cute.  Older but not too old.  Top pick in my opinion for Emily.

Tony – He is 30 and has a 5 year old son Taylor.  Not sure it would work, does not appear to be her type, but who knows.  

Lerone – I’m sorry but no.  He’s good looking.  But I am not sure he is her type. 

David – He is from New York City and a Singer/Songwriter…um…I smell some Kasey Kahl from Allie F. season with the “Emily” song.  He’s good looking but annoying and would drive me nuts with him singing my name over and over.  Although maybe I should have Rich try that for a day and see what I think.

Charlie – My first thought was that he is MY type…but not Emily’s.  As his story continued I realized why I liked him.  He’s 32 and had an accident a year ago when he was on a balcony that broke.  He also was shown with his enormous bull dog.  Um…was his bull dog on the balcony when it broke?  He says he had a head injury, not a heart injury…ha ha…see that’s why I like him…I always go for head injury dudes. 

Jef–   He is a very young looking CEO of a bottled water company.  NOT EMILY’S TYPE.   He is a skateboarder and really needs to see himself on TV with his hair to maybe make a style change.  If he continues on with Emily, I may have to do commentary from his hair.

Arie -  He is a race car driver…hmmm…well they have something in common.  And he’s cute….ohhhh cute. 

Those are the only guys they focused on at the beginning of the show. 

The Limos started to pull up and Emily was nervous!  And yes, she had reason to be.  These guys pulled out all the nerdy, stupid, tricks they could to get her attention.  So here’s the order of how they came out of the limos:

Sean – Not interesting.  Quick intro and dashed into the house. 

David – Singer/Songwriter…cutie.  Didn’t sing her name thankfully :-)  

Doug – 33 year old, single dad, told her this right away that he has an 11 year old son and asked about Ricki right away.   Not attractive right away, but sweet.

Jackson – Fitness Model, 29  and poured the charm  on thick, but I think annoyed her. 

Joe – 27…YIKES.  Hyper, very excited to be there, obviously didn’t feel worthy of being in Emily’s presence and I think he scared her. 

Arie – He is the 30 year old Race car driver.  ohhhh….jack pot!  Connection I think.   She liked what she saw. 

Kyle – 29 – a little creepy in starring at her.  Kept hugging her but really no impression was made.

Chris – 25  I don’t think he will be a keeper.  Long winded.  Begged her in his introduction to keep him around.   

Aaron – 36 year old Biology Teacher and a weirdo.  Walked out with Huge glasses…and made a joke about being a biology teacher but having chemistry with her. 

Alejandro – Brazilian from Minneapolis.  Creepy…and um…no…

Jef –  The young dude with a beehive.  He skateboarded up to her from behind the limo. 

Lerone – Poured on the compliments.  A little awkward that he LOVES she is a single mom.  I guess he thought that would be the only thing she is looking for.

Stevie – Came out with a beat box danced his way up to her.  Cute but too young.  She may keep him cause he’s fun! 

Charlie –  The 32 year old head injury guy. He will have no recollection of their meeting the next day and neither will Emily.  

Tony – Walked up to her with a  Pillow with a glass slipper.  CHEEEEEEESSSSSEEEEEYYYY!  Threw up a little in my mouth. 

Randy – I have no clue what this dude was thinking.  He got out of the limo in a grandma’s outfit and said he had someone he wanted her to meet.  Then he took off the outfit.  Reminded me a PSYCHO!   Bye Randy!

Nate – Normal…cute…boring.

Brent – He is 41.  Very friendly.  And would have loved him, but he pulled out a name tag to help her remember his name.  

John “Wolf” – He is 30…he’s excited she is here.  Cute guy.  But will need to do something to last a long time.  Maybe howl more often? 

Travis –  He is a 30 year old carrying around an ostrich  egg.  You see according to Travis, the egg symbolizes two beautiful people…Emily and Ricki…he will take care of the egg like he’d take care of Emily and Ricki.  Isn’t that a highschool parenting class assignment?  Maybe Travis needs to take some parenting classes prior to this engagement. 

Michael – He is a 26 year old Rehab counselor.  He has long hair and tosses it back a lot.  He is also from Austin where Brad is from.   Bye Michael!

Jean-Paul – He is 35 and reminded me of my next door neighbor. 

Alejandro – Another Alejandro!   From Columbia and San Fran….kind of hot…but not for her.  Hot in a Mexican restaurant waiter kind of way…

Ryan –  This is the football guy.  I love him.  He wrote on a note to her, You are Beautiful and flip it over and it said, I’m so nervous note.  So sweet…and hot.  She liked it. 

Enter the season’s first helicopter.   Kalon  the wealthy dude.  He had to make an impression with his helicopter (maybe it wasn’t his…probably all staged.)  All the guys hated him immediately.  He was a dork. 

First opinion of the guys as a whole:  what a bunch of dorks.  I think I only have a few that might have a connection with her.  But Emily, well she was impressed! Or completely medicated.

So Emily begins the 1:1 time with the guys.  Chris  brought bobble heads of him and Emily.  Then he had them role play their relationship.  This guy is a tool.   But Emily says he is “super hot”  Did they give her alcohol with sedatives before this party? 

Jef the dude with the beehive is completely annoying.  But Emily thinks he is “cool” and she is a “nerd.”  I think that Jef would actually bring out Emily’s “high school” days back.  Maybe they could go hang out at the Peach Pit and go to a Backstreet Boys concert.  She might be able to let loose a bit with Jef.  Until she realizes, he is so out of her league.  I mean can you imagine going from Brad to Jef?  yikes!

Doug with the 11 year old son was obsessed with Ricki and where she was.   But Emily liked him and was sweet with him.  Doug’s son wrote Emily a note.  I actually found him more attractive as time went on with his 1:1 with Emily. He also made sure she knew he had full-custody of his son.  Does that mean his ex is not involved or the courts deemed him "competent"? 

The first impression rose arrives.  The guys decide that any guy who shows up in a helicopter and doesn’t get the First impression rose should go jump off a cliff.  I found it crazy that the guys were intimidated or irritated by the helicopter guy, Kalon.  They were upset with him forcing his “money” on her. He was annoying though so I do get it.

Kalon got some time with Emily.  He was raised by a single mom and that is about all we learn about him.  There 1:1 got interrupted by Sean.  Kalon wasn’t happy.  The other guys were not happy with Kalon the whole night. 

Arie got some 1:1 time with Emily and he was concerned about his profession as a race car driver.  He brought it up right away.  She seemed okay with all because that had been huge part of her life and she thought Arie was hot.  Well…he is!

Emily gave the first impression rose to DOUG!  Single dad Doug…wow!  She liked his son’s letter. That was probably a good move and a safe choice to give it to him.

Chris Harrison arrives and says times up!  Ding ding ding! 

So who made the cut: 

Bobble Head Chris, Ryan the Football Hottie, Helicopter Kalon, Racecar Driver Arie, Head injury Charlie,  Beehive Jef, Nate who no one knows, Sean 1^st out of the limo, Hyper I Don’t Deserve to Be Here Joe, Kyle who?,  Biology Teacher with Chemistry Aaron, Alejandro Uno, Cute John aka Wolf,  Alejandrao Dos, Long haired Micheal, DJ Stevie, Tony with the Glass Slipper, and drum rolllll Travis with the Egg.    These guys made writing this blog post and coming up with names for them WAY  too easy! 

The rejected guys exited gracefully.  One guy on the way out, Brent said he had 6 kids and doesn’t think finding love at 41 with 6 kids may be possible.  Wow!  He needs to be on the Duggar dating game show!

Oh that was fun!   Please comment and tell me your favorites from the night!!! 

This Season Highlights – Traveling the world!  A lot of kissing!  Ricki will travel with her.   She seems more relaxed than how she was with Brad’s season.   One of the dudes gets called out for calling her daughter “baggage.”  A lot of dudes crying.  And DOLLY PARTON!  What else could you ask for!

At the very end of the show the guy in the pink shirt, who I think was the fitness model Jackson, said Emily missed out and he showed his 6 pack abs…he should have opened with that!!!